


It Wasn't Enough

by beware_of_you



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Other, i'm honesly just moving all my stories from wattpad over here bc it seems to get more traffic, mallory is too hard on herself my poor bby, myrtle is a VAPE goddess, pls read my shit, soft zoe x mallory UwU, this might not be good tbh I'll probably edit it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17504273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: mallory fucking wreckedtm michael in a really epic magic battle that I didn't even write lol whoops and brought back cordelia and like half the coven but she's still upset bc the world is still an apocalyptic wastelandi mean there's only so much the rising supreme could do(also this was written before the finale UwU)there's some gayTM





	It Wasn't Enough

**Author's Note:**

> this prolly sux

The wind blew softly across the patch of dry, brittle grass, stirring up the ashes that remained below. It was one of the few patches that remained, dead or alive. Live plants were super rare to come by anymore, if one even came by them at all. Hell, anything living and unaffected by the nuclear blast was rare enough to come by.

It was a rather isolated place, far enough away from the sanctuary that one would feel all alone out here.

It was the type of place Mallory craved to be.

Very carefully, the nature witch ran her fingers gently through the remains, wincing slightly at the feel of it, at the memories the ashes had stirred up.

It had been nearly two years since she had defeated Michael Langdon, the son of Satan himself. Mallory didn't remember much of the fight, nor did she remember much from before. Cordelia had made sure that Coco and her had no memory of the other witches, of Miss Robichaux's Academy, of anything, really.

She does remember waking up when Cordelia revived her, but things were still a blur after that.

She vaguely remembers Cordelia being there one minute, and then the next she wasn't. Mallory had been confused, even frightened, but, quite oddly, felt a sudden surge of power run through her veins. She remembers this part the most, it felt like she had been struck by lightning.

Then everything went dark.

Or at least that's what Myrtle had told her after she woke up. She had apparently been unconscious for a while, almost a week, but that she had defeated the monstrosity known as Michael Langdon. She had saved the coven (or what remained, Mallory had thought bitterly at the tine) from whatever wrath the man-child had in store for them.

She remembers blacking out the second time, feeling the electricity leaving her body, but she still didn't feel Cordelia around. She only felt Madison, Myrtle, Coco, and, on occasion, Misty and Stevie, although the swamp witch had tended to stay away from the group. Mallory felt Stevie's presence more than Misty's, so the young witch assumed that being around them without the former Supreme was simply too painful for her to handle.

For weeks, maybe even months, the coven stayed within the confines of Outpost 3, unsure of how to continue on. Mallory didn't feel the power she once felt, nor did she feel like she was dying, so she wasn't worried about a new Supreme, or a new being that was coming, like Cordelia had felt with Michael.

The power that she once possessed had just... vanished.

Even Myrtle was confused by the sudden disappearance of the nature witch's powers, though she didn't speak on it. She hardly talked within those months, occasionally smoking her vape pen and filling the small, thick walls with a sickly sweet smoke that made Madison and Coco nauseous. Madison never once voiced her distaste for it, though, just simply left the room when the remaining council member pulled the stick from her pocket.

Even she understood that Myrtle, much like Misty, was mourning over the loss of Cordelia.

Those months were certainly the darkest moments of Mallory's life. Everything was just so quiet and upsetting. There were times that she would think she would soon hear Queenie and Madison going at each other's throats and then hear Cordelia's voice calling for them to settle down as Zoe sighed and rolled her eyes off in the corner.

But that never happened.

Shit, she wouldn't have minded if Misty had thrown on a Fleetwood Mac record, despite the White Witch herself becoming such a common presence around the sanctuary. Mallory was just so sick of the silence, of all the pain and grief that seemed to weigh down on everyone as more time passed.

Then things changed when she brought Cordelia back during Descensum.

Mallory knew what prompted the her to attempt the ritual; after all, Michael had done it and brought back Misty, why couldn't she go and do the same thing? It was desperation on her part, she knew that, especially since she came really close to dying during the ritual. She felt like she was just running out of options and didn't know what else to do.

Myrtle had warned the girls about performing Descensum, that the ritual was to only be performed during the Seven Wonders. Misty (she happened to be around at the time) and Madison had both winced at the mention of the act; while Madison had survived her attempt at the ritual, she still had vivid nightmares about what her personal hell was like. Although, at this point, she had suffered through enough nightmares than any one witch should ever have to in her lifetime.

Misty's eyes had glazed over and her hands had started to tremble as she stared off at the wall. The ritual was a touchy subject for her, the relentless torment she had suffered for five years was more than enough for her to completely block the idea of Descensum from her mind. Though her life in the present was even worse than the personal hell she suffered in those five years.

Stevie ended up having to take the swamp witch out for a while, coming back hours later without the younger blonde following behind.

Like many of the other things that happened after Michael, she didn't recall what happened or what she saw down there. All she remembers is waking up and feeling weird, relieved because she could feel Cordelia's presence with her.

The Supreme had been extremely shocked (to say the least) to be back, to be alive again. She was even more surprised when she felt the power she once had surging once again through her veins. She felt stronger, she felt like herself, she felt like Cordelia Goode.

Needless to say, things only started to look up from there. Misty started coming around more (in fact, she had even begun to stay at the outpost with Cordelia back), people started to smile again, Madison started to act more like her old self, although Mallory could tell she was extremely guarded, waiting for things to fall apart once more. Mallory even once heard Stevie playing the piano.

It was the happiest the group had been in a long time.

Then, as more time went on, Mallory found herself bringing back more and more of the coven, sometimes one at a time, sometimes multiple girls. She had even managed to bring back Zoe, Queenie, Behold and John, who everyone was sure they would never see again.

Mallory wasn't sure how she recovered the witches and the two warlocks; Michael had destroyed their souls after all. However, she didn't even bother questioning when she saw the two witches (and, to a lesser extent, the warlocks, but Cordelia had told her that they had proved their loyalty to the coven, and she figured they deserved to come back too). Things almost seemed to be... going alright for once.

The outpost was small, though, only able to house fifteen people. With Robichaux's obliterated in the blast, the warlocks set off to find the group somewhere more suitable. They had found a place down in Jupiter, Florida, somewhere which was only affected by the radiation, not the blast.

Traveling on foot to the old plantation had taken the coven quite some time (not every witch could perform Transmutation and Cordelia didn't want to let anyone out of her sight; she had even been wary to let John and Behold off to find them a more suitable living space, but she eventually agreed).

The things Mallory saw along the way had affected her more than it should. Seeing all the death, all the destruction had worn her down. Recovering a majority of the coven had worn her down.

Once the group had arrived at the plantation house, they all stared at the house in silence until Misty had broken out in a smile. "I like this place, it gives off very good vibes," she had mumbled, touching the cool, black gates lightly with her fingertips. "It feels safe," she concluded, giving Cordelia's shoulder a squeeze and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

And, for the first time in a very, very long time, everyone actually felt safe.

Everyone had settled in rather quickly, things almost going back to what she would consider normal. Madison and Queenie could often be heard in the kitchen, bickering at one another. Mallory would always hear either Myrtle's or Cordelia's voice, scolding the girls in soft tones. Other times, she would hear Behold get on their asses and then go off to his room, always muttering "witches and their drama" under his breath in a rather dramatic manner.

She would hear Zoe and Cordelia talking amongst themselves quite often, Misty never far from the Supreme. Recently, Mallory had even seen the swamp witch do a twirl with the shawl Stevie gave her, looking really content. Bubbles and Myrtle would even gossip late at night at the dining room table while all the other young witches slept.

Mallory didn't do much of that these days, sleep.

She still felt the doubts everyone had forgotten plagued them, the fear of the unknown. She was still plagued with guilt, the guilt that she could have, no, should have, done more.

Despite the state of the coven, everyone's happiness, Mallory couldn't help but feel she had failed to restore everything to the way it was before. Yes, she had brought back most (keyword, most) of her coven back from Hell, but she still wasn't sure how. And just because she saved a few dozen witches, doesn't mean she saved the whole world.

The planet was still dying, the dead patch of grass below her feet is a harsh reminder of that. There's still times when the area goes cold, ice freezing over the area, over skeletal remains of animals and people. Seven billion people were still dead and Mallory wasn't sure if she could ever bring them back.

No matter what she had accomplished, it would never be enough to restore the world back the familiarity Mallory so desperately craved.

She wasn't sure if the sudden cold blast of air or her thoughts made her shiver, but regardless, it was enough to cause the young witch to sit down on the small patch of vegetation. She winces when her hands make contact with the cold, hard ground that's barely covered up by the ash, pulling her knees up to her chest.

She's not sure when she starts crying, but she feels the wind throwing her tears off into the ground, the droplets making audible sounds as they land on the ground. "Maybe I can't help but cry," she thinks to herself, resting her chin on her knees. "I feel like such a failure."

"You know Cordelia doesn't want any of us out here on our own, right?" she hears a voice say from behind her. Mallory doesn't even jump in surprise, she's been face to face with the Anti-Christ, she wasn't scared of much anymore.

Mallory sighs, staring ahead at what she thinks was once a car, but there isn't much detail left for her to tell. "I guess I just needed to get away and think. Is she worried? Did she send you to come and get me?" she asks quietly.

"You know how she is anymore," Zoe says. "Of course she's worried, and I volunteered to go get you. But we don't have to go back right away. If she's really worried, she can ask Bubbles to check in on us. Do you mind if I sit?"

Mallory grimaced at the mention of the movie star; the last thing she wanted was for the old witch to hear her depressing thoughts. "Yeah, go ahead," she murmurs out loud, her thoughts trying to go to more positive topics like rainbows and kittens incase Bubbles did check in on her.

Zoe lowers herself down slowly, studying the younger witch carefully. "You've been crying," she states obviously, yet softly. Zoe always spoke quite softly (unless it came to Madison), which Mallory appreciated; she didn't want to be scolded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Just thinking," Mallory replied quietly and bluntly, eyes flitting over towards the older witch briefly before focusing back on the pile of unidentifiable metal.

"It's a good place to think, it's quiet," Zoe murmured, trailing off and hoping that the younger witch would continue. She may not want to come out here and scold the young witch, but Zoe did care and was genuinely concerned that her friend had been crying.

"I just..." Mallory started softly, cutting herself off with a sigh. "I don't know why things aren't back to normal," she finally got out, refusing to meet the older witch's eyes as she looks back down at the ash.

"I don't understand why, after I beat Michael, things just... didn't go back to the way they were. I'm not even sure if I was a hundred percent sure they would, but I did a little. But they weren't normal. The world was, is, still shit, you were still gone, Cordelia, everyone was still gone and my power was suddenly gone. I killed Michael, but everything he had done was still there, all the death, all the destruction... And even when I bring her back, bring you back," she says, finally looking up and gesturing towards Zoe with a frustrated look, her voice raising. "It's still not there. I don't understand how I can have it one minute, then it be gone the very next. I didn't even want it, but I find myself wanting it back because I know with it, I could have saved everyone, not just the coven. I could have restored the world, saved all the people who died, but I just used it to kill Michael."

She lets out a frustrated sigh, it all sounds so selfish when she says it out loud, and she knows it probably is selfish to want the power back this badly. But she knows that, with the power, everything she's ranting about is true, she could have saved everyone and what she had done is, and will never be enough. "No matter what I did for the coven, I feel like... no, I know it was and will never be enough."

Zoe takes in every word the girl spews out, wincing slightly at the hostility behind each word. She can't even begin to understand how frustrating this must be for Mallory, and she feels sorry for the girl. However, she knows that Mallory is severely underestimating what she had done, how little credit the girl is giving herself.

"Mallory, you defeated the antichrist and brought so many people back from hell," Zoe starts off, her voice still soft. "You even brought back me, Queenie, Behold, John... I don't think anyone, not even Myrtle, thought that was possible."

"I didn't bring back Nan," Mallory cuts her off, sounding defeated. "Or Kyle."

Zoe winces slightly at the mention of her lover, the pain of him not being around still fresh. "You couldn't have gotten Nan back anyway, Cordelia already tried. Papa Legba wanted all of our souls for hers, and she wouldnt do it. You only get one deal," she explains quietly, dancing around the other subject as long as she could.

"No one expects you to bring back everyone, Mallory. I didn't even know you could bring me back, let alone nearly the whole coven. You've done way more than anyone ever expected you to," the older witch says soothingly, placing a hand on the young girl's arm.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to bring him back, Kyle back. I want you to be proud of yourself. You defeated Michael, not even Cordelia could beat him. You gave us all a second, or third, chance at life. It's because of you that we're all like a family again," Zoe says firmly, voice raising a bit as her tone got more serious.

"You've done more than enough, Mallory, whether you think so or not. Be proud that you've done all this," she finishes with a soft smile, pointing back to the plantation house.

Mallory sighs once more, feeling really tired, really drained, yet a part of her accepts Zoe's praises, the words swirling around her brain in clumps. "But the power..." she starts before she cuts herself off, biting her lip softly.

"You don't need it anymore," Zoe assures her, standing up and offering her hand to the younger witch. "Right now, you still need time to heal, we all do," she says, pulling up the nature witch when she grabs her hand.

"Soon we'll all be able to start restoring things, even if it takes a while," Zoe murmurs, bending over and taking some ash in her hand. She closes her eyes briefly, the spell she performs just barely coming out as a whisper. She opens her eyes and smiles as Mallory's eyes light up.

The ashes in her hand form, slowly but surely, a single, bright green oak leaf. It was the first live, healthy plant that Mallory had seen in years and she couldn't help but smile at the sight.

Zoe smiles at the young girl, managing to catch her eyes and hold them with her own. "Even if it takes a while, we'll help everything and everyone heal," she says quietly, giving the girl the leaf.

As she held the leaf and walked back the the house with Zoe, Mallory felt and believed for the first time in a very, very long time, that things were finally going to be okay.


End file.
